Finding a way to love myself on the days I hate myself.

Newton's Law of Gravity: What goes up must come down. And right now, I am up. I am feeling great, feeling my worth. It's not the first time in this process since July that I have had an up. And I know what follows, a down, with anger, sadness and doubt. It's like the game, tug of war. I hope that it leads to a plateau, eventually. So, while I am in this good brain space, my homework is to write myself a love letter of sorts. And even in my good brain space, this is going to hard for me.

Kristy,

I see you. You're so courageous and brave. You are a warrior. You will beat this. No one has ever stolen your smile and hope, and no one ever will. The love you emit is as bright as the sun, everyone can see it, no one can burn it out. Your love is never ending. And remember, you deserve to shine for yourself. Turn that bright love inward. You deserve it. You've left us all in the dark for too long now, we want to feel warm, we want to shine bright with you. I promise, you have an army inside you, always ready to fight with you when you need us. But there are no more bad guys, you are safe now. Love us, heal us. WE all deserve it. YOU deserve it. Your superpower is that you turn shit into sunshine. Challenge those thoughts. Kristy, you're free. Be gentle with yourself. You've come a long way, already, it's pretty incredible.

Love you all the time, Kristy

"Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing." Hawking and Mlodinow